The day after Thanksgiving is black Friday. The Saturday after black Friday is small business Saturday. The Monday after black Friday and small business Saturday is Cyber Monday. Money is the new Baal. According to our culture, if you have it, you are blessed, if you don't, you are cursed.
What does the first paragraph have to do with the second? Everything. No matter how many decades it takes to learn it, the lesson is clear. Money is futile, income is fleeting (Proverbs 11:28). True joy is found in Christ and His purpose for the world.
So, you're suffering from the Michael W. Smith syndrome, "looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find your place in this world". Where do you start.
First, call on God. Pray. Ask Him to lead you to your purpose in truth. Psalms encourages us to commit our way unto the Lord and every thought will be established. (Psalm 37:5).
Second, read your Bible. I would encourage you to read Luke, then Acts. The purposes of God are clear in there.
Third, ask God to bring you closer to Him. As for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, (Acts 2:4, Acts 10:44-46) and watch God work in your life.
Fourth, Volunteer @ church. There's plenty to do and you will find joy in the Lord....and your purpose.
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